am I worthy?

Late that night, she opened a book and stared at it. She didn't read, she just stared, to do something. The letters began to blur as the tears were filling her eyes. He was gone, and she had been left alone. She tried to focus on the pages, but it didn't mattered how much she tried, she failed.
She put the book aside and closed her eyes. 'Why am I doing this to myself?' she said. 'I deserve more'. And then, after thinking about it for a while, she said 'no, I don't deserve more, I'm fine'.
But she wasn't. Anybody could see that. She wasn't fine. And how could she say 'I'm fine' with tears coming down her face? How could she say 'I'm fine' with her heart broken?
No. She wasn't fine. She was anything but fine.
She looked at the clock on the wall. It was ten o'clock. One hour had passed. Just one eternal hour. She cried harder than never in her life.
Twenty minutes later she was feeling better. Her eyes were still wet, but she was rubbing them, like saying 'nothing happened here'.
Later that night, she went to bed calmer and relaxed. As she was covering her shoulders with her blanket she thought, desperately 'Please, miss me, need me'.